Coconut Scotch Bonnet Coleslaw

by Kris on March 8, 2011

Well folks, looks like I did it again. Our once functioning mid century garbage disposal is now clogged with copious amounts of cabbage and mango peels. Because I grew up without such luxuries, I really don’t know what can and cannot be disposed of in it. Unfortunately for Greg I learn by trial and error which has taught me that artichokes and coffee grounds create a very unhappy sink, not to mention boyfriend.

For the last two days Greg has spent his time taking the sink apart, pouring bottles of Draino down the pipes, and guiding a snake down the drain. All the while we have a dishwasher full of dirty dishes that cannot be washed and two non functioning sinks full of murky water.

Household technologies evade me. It wasn’t until late 2001 that my family invested in our first dishwasher and I almost broke it the first week by not clearing my plates before turning it on.

My biggest technology fail, however, occurred last fall. After a few hectic weeks of road trips, destination weddings and emergency room visits (that’s another story) our apartment looked like a pig-stye.

While Greg was at school one afternoon I began to organize our desk. As I shoved my painting supplies away in a drawer I came across a mysterious wooden box. With some hesitation I decided to open it. Inside were a few decks of cards, some poker chips and a pocket sized device with two buttons. When I pressed one button a red light would appear on the top and when I pressed the other button the light would flash twice. After much investigation I had come to the conclusion that Greg was a secret gambling addict who was using his economics education to count cards. Infuriated I waited for him to come home so I could confront him with my discovery.

When Greg came home he immediately asked me why the garage door was open. Completely ignoring him I pointed to his box and told him I knew everything. Confused, he approached the box and asked me what it was I thought I had discovered. I began to tell him how I found his card counter and that he must think I’m stupid to not know what that box implied.

Without saying a word he took his card counter, grabbed my arm and led me outside. Glaring at me he began to press the buttons on the card counter and much to my surprise the garage door opened and closed accordingly. The device wasn’t a card counter it was a garage door opener! The entire time I was ‘counting cards’ with it, the garage door was opening and closing. Our neighbours must have been very confused watching the door open and close repeatedly for no apparent reason.  And much to Greg’s chagrin, the final position of the door was ‘open,’ displaying our garage full of possessions to anyone passing by on the sidewalk.  Luckily, nothing disappeared.

So next time someone makes fun of you for being behind the times, tell them the story of the 24 year old who had never seen a garage door opener, in the year 2010.

Half a medium red cabbage, shredded
¼ cup coconut milk
2 Tbsp. plain yogurt (optional)
2 Tbsp. hibiscus tea
2 green onions, chopped
1 Tbsp. white vinegar
1 Tsp. lime zest
¼ Tsp. scotch bonnet pepper sauce
¼ Tsp. kosher salt
1 Tsp. sugar

In a food processor, combine coconut milk, yogurt, hibiscus tea, green onions, white vinegar, lime zest, pepper sauce, salt and sugar until smooth.

Toss shredded red cabbage in sauce until equally coated. Place in a sealed container and refrigerate for 24 hours.

Serve as a side dish to complement Jerk chicken or any tropical inspired dish.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

lauren March 8, 2011 at 9:05 pm

i knew you were a technotard!!!! card counter…, i busted up with that one.
i love you for it!!!


Emma March 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Heheheh! Bet you were blushing about that for a while! :)


Paulette of Girl + Fire March 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I have no idea what this recipe is (I clicked on the picture simply because it was pretty), but the story accompanying it was absolutely worth it. I love it.


Kris March 26, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Haha, thanks. I still laugh about that day.


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